"A Pearl"

Most of us have prayed, asking something of God.  Have you ever considered you might be the answer to another's prayer?

"It's the Timing Thing"

I pruned my raspberries today.  Most other gardeners did that in the fall or at least before new growth is appearing.  I am often reminded of my tendency to be a procrastinator, and I do own that.  However, a basic tenet in my life is "Not a moment too soon, not a moment too late."  I am always grateful when my life and the everyday things in it fall into place, at just the right time.


While thinking about my newly pruned raspberries today, the ones which are going to produce abundantly for me, I also began thinking about "The Timing Thing."  All of creation operates, it functions within a very specific timing framework.  I suspect tide tables for the seas could be printed ad infinitum and be accurate.  Sunrises and sunsets too.  Think about the synchronization of this planet and everything that is in it, the universe beyond our own.  The North Star has not moved since its placement in the skies.  Animals instinctively migrate toward a warmer climate instead of heading toward one which would spell death for their species.  Their babies are brought into the world so they can flourish in the Summer, not perish in the Winter.  Science is not my forte', but I believe this is called a symbiotic relationship--Living things and a planet which supports that life.


I am of the belief that the same thought and design went into us as humans, that precise planning has gone into not only my life, but all of mankind.  "There is an appointed time for everything.  A time to be born, and a time to die.  A time to plant, a time to harvest."  Everything has its season, and there is no way to speed it up or shorten it. 


We have all had those experiences where everything went just right.  Some say the stars and planets were aligned.  Some will say that they have just been living right, and that would be their reward.  Others say they have been blessed.  Whatever you call it, the timing was perfect.  Nothing was done to make it happen that way.  It just did.  That is what I am talking about--not just an occasional happening, but living life in sync with the Creator.  How is that possible?  Man was created to have a friendship, a relationship with his Creator.  When you start with that base, it's not hard to comprehend or attain.  


The pull of the moon on the oceans of the world causes them to ebb and flow with precision.  For me, I live my life in an ebb and flow with the Maker of that moon.  Call it a dance, if you will, but the result is a life that is part of a larger picture than just my small world.  And in that picture, timing is the thing.   In spite of my procrastination and in spite of my own self, the raspberries do get pruned, "Not a moment too soon, not a moment too late."  As I look out my kitchen window at the overgrown apple tree and see my pile of tax papers out of the corner of my eye, I know they will get taken care of as well.  I will cross paths with those whom I am supposed to.  I will be where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing.  It is a perfect timing thing.

"Just Keep Me Going"

While thinking about a situation in my life today, one that has no easy answers, I heard myself say, "Just keep me going.  Just keep me going."  Yes, I do spend a lot of time alone in my work as a gardener, but no, I have not gone over the deep end from too much solitude.  My family may challenge that, but this is how I approach difficult situations, recognizing the need to continue moving forward, one step at a time. 


Many years ago, I was discussing a problem with a friend.  "What do I do?" I asked, expecting a list of suggestions.  The answer:  "Just keep going."  That was the last thing I wanted to hear!  However, over the years I have come to realize what wisdom was proffered in that response. 


We all have had, currently have, or will have circumstances in our lives that pretty much buckle us at the knees.  Sometimes we feel as though we literally are not going to survive and aren't sure if we want to.  There is no light at the end of the tunnel, only darkness and zero understanding.  Even everyday life, without a major calamity, at times feels like it is going to sink us.  Those are the times when we simply want to stop.  Life just feels too hard.


In this journey called life I have had more than my fair share of times when I simply dug in my heels, refusing to budge.   From the voice of experience, let me tell you what happens when you do that.  Use the correlation of a physical trip, and it is easily understood.  There is no change in scenery, no progress.  I call it being on a hamster wheel.   You know, the one where you may be going really fast, but you're not going anywhere.  That is when the fears come in, the doubts, the  confusion.  Attitudes sour and life becomes stagnant, a rut where nothing changes.  It is the antithesis of living.

This brings me back to the sage advice.  Each of us is on a particular path, a very specific, individualized walk.  It is ours and ours alone.  How DO you do that?--"Just keep going."  To begin with, you can only take the steps you are given to take.  But take them and others will follow.  For me, I know there are times when I need to be pushed along, nudged from behind, never allowed to simply stay in one place.  That is why my mantra, my prayer is to "Just keep me going."   The result has been a richer, fuller life than I could have imagined, and the views are much better than they are from a hamster wheel.  :)

"Why I Believe There Is a God"

There are some who affirm their belief in the existence of God after witnessing the birth of a child.  For others it is the power of the sea, the grandeur of the Grand Canyon, the majesty of Mount Everest.  Some come to that place after a once-in-a-lifetime personal experience.  While I appreciate all of those persuasions, my argument pro-God is confirmed by my gardening equipment experiences.

"The season" has begun.  That is just another way of saying that 14" of snow has melted, grass is growing, roses and other shrubs need to be pruned, weeds have erupted, and gardens are waiting to be tended.  It also means gardening equipment which has been stored since last fall needs to be brought out and put to use.  Such was the case today when I began my lawn-mowing schedule in earnest.  I loaded the mower and weed-eater in the truck and headed out.  

On the job site, I finished mowing and pulled the weed-eater out to edge.  I hadn't used it for several months and no, I did not winterize it properly, emptying it of fuel while in storage.  That, all by itself, spells a recipe for disaster.  I primed it, set the choke properly and began pulling on the starter---and pulling and pulling and pulling.  And this is where my pro-God argument enters in.  I heard myself saying, "Please, please, please God.  Please start it."  This is my usual response when I am dealing with an obstinate piece of equipment.  I have a habit of counting the number of times I've tried, so  by the time I got to 30 I had decided there would probably be no edging done this day.  It was then it kicked in.  "Thank you" was the next thought I had, and I headed off to complete my job. 

I must say there have been plenty of times when my equipment doesn't start, and my response is a negative expression which I won't repeat.  The nasty words and attitude, the rants and raves don't even faze Him.  He simply smiles, pats me on the head, and sends me on my way to my equipment people, a gift from Him for whom I am so very grateful and thankful.  They add to my pro-God argument.  

I would never minimize nor negate another's experiences or view, and I, too, recognize the work and the hand of God in new life, nature, and priceless individual experiences.  But for me, today the proof came through loud and clear.  He was 3 for 3--the mower, the blower, and the weed-eater.  They all kicked in.  

Do I hear an "Amen?"  :)

"On Weeds"

weed:  n.  any plant regarded as unwanted at the place, where and at the time it is growing.

I weeded Bruce's garden pathways for the hundredth time today.  While that IS an exaggeration, it wasn't the first time nor will it be the last they are weeded.  When I began my gardening business a most rude awakening came when I returned to a client's garden and discovered that the pristine state I had left it in a week or two prior had turned into an area overridden with weeds.  I  had honestly expected to find it the way I left it.  Perhaps that is the definition of living in denial.

One of my clients is of the thinking that a weed is a misunderstood flower.  Not !!  My feeling is there is no such thing as a good weed and categorize them all as "nasty"--briars, ivy and morning glory alike and all those, large and small, which blanket a space.  Each season showcases a different variety which fills lush, fertile soil, nestling in amongst beds of perennials or filling bare spots with a carpet of green.  

Growing in the most desolate of soil as well, appearing in crevices in sidewalks and driveways even, they come in uninvited on the wind or hitchhiking on birds, cats and dogs, or other critters.  Leave a single one unchecked, and it will spread its seeds as though it was the only one left in civilization with the need to propagate the earth.  It is said a weed seed can lie dormant in the soil for 10 years and that, as we dig in the soil, we are actually cultivating it, exposing it to the warmth of the sun, creating an environment for the growth of our own worst enemy.

In the simplest of terms, weeds choke out life.  They are not plants which co-exist but suffocate and inhibit the growth and development of neighboring flora.  One can't ignore them, or they come out on the winning side.  They must be dealt with and constantly kept in check and under control, or they will engulf all that is beautiful and lovely.  In the war on weeds, eradication is a top priority.

In addition to our physical gardens, each of us has a garden within us.  Residing in the inner self, our spiritual self, it does exist, and the fruit of what grows within is revealed and cannot be hidden.  For example, if bitterness, anger,  jealousy, or greed is growing within it is evidenced in the way one's life is lived. When those things which are of the flesh are dealt with, including idolatry, lack of sexual restraint, quarreling, and dissensions, the fruit of the Spirit is manifest--love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  The care and tending of this garden is more important than tending any other area in our lives. 

How can one tend something that is invisible?  The very essence of spiritual self is not something we can reach out and touch, yet nothing is more real.  For me, weeding my inner self begins with the acknowledgement that a need exists.  Next is the concession I am unable to take care of it on my own.  The One who created me is a Master Gardener as well.  He knows what needs to be taken care of, He knows how to do it, and He does it well.  He actually specializes in the elimination of those things which would stifle and overtake life.

Any garden, large or small, which has been lovingly maintained is a feast for the eyes and brings joy to the soul.  Free of competition from errant, wayward growth, it begs to be savored and experienced.  And so it is when coming in contact with one whose inner garden has been nurtured and cared for by the Master.  The proper pruning, cultivation, development of rich, fertile soil, and removal of undesirable vegetation all provide the habitat for fruit which is enriching and beneficial to all.  Living life with Him, it is an attainable and worthwhile goal.

Christ spoke of seeds and weeds in a parable.  Grain seeds were sown in a patch of thorns where they were quickly choked out.  He explained that the seeds are the word and "....those sown among the thorns:  these are the ones who hear the word, but the cares of the world,, and the lure of wealth, and the desire for other things come in and choke the word, and it yields nothing."  Mark 4:19 

In a spiritual garden, as in a physical garden, weeds cannot be neglected, and the uprooting of them is always the goal.  Those who submit to the work and the handiwork of God are both blessed and a blessing.

May your garden flourish with life and love at the touch of our Father's hand.

"On Being Led"

I never know for certain where I am going to be or what I am going to be doing at any given point in time.  I may make plans, but I always know those are subject to all sorts of variables beyond me.  When the day began I had no idea I would end up in Jim's yard, cleaning up debris and following a certain train of thought.  The thinking part is always a plus as it seems I do some of my best thinking while working.

The day began quite rainy so I had pretty much decided it was going to be void of any outside work.  By noon the four walls were closing in on me, and I headed out anyway, fully expecting to get soaked and have a good reason for quitting.  That is not how the day turned out though.

Let me set this up.  I am of the thinking that most of us want to live our lives with a sense of order, purpose, and direction.  For me, that has been a desire for as long as I can remember.  In the "ago," and it has been so long ago, I can't tell you when--the One who created me whispered, "I will lead you and guide you in the way you should go."  He doesn't shout, you know.  It's the still, small, quiet voice.  My response and reaction at the time was, "Yeah, whatever."   As time and years have passed, I find I have gone to that statement over and over again, valuing it rather than giving it a casual, flippant response. 

I HAVE been led and guided--through a divorce after 37 years of marriage (You don't expect to hear God and divorce in the same thought, do you?) ; into the job marketplace where my only "work experience" on a resume' was several decades of being a stay-at-home mom to four children; into a gardening business where I am now able to mow and blow with the best of them; into my own home.  I could go on and on.   

There are some who will say this is no different than living life "on the fly", a "whatever will be" mentality.  For me, I know the difference.  This is being grounded, being connected to Someone larger than me.  Who knows me better than my Creator?  Who has higher goals and aspirations for me than I could ever think of for myself?  It's the parent/child scenario where the parent always, only wants what is best for the child.

Am I preaching?  No.  It is not my desire to change your way of thinking or for you to live your life as I do.  My life is mine; yours is yours.  I am only sharing with you how I lived my life today, which brings me back to Jim's yard.  I never expected to go to Jim's today, as he is a Tuesday  client, and today is Thursday.  Sometimes my little red truck has a mind of its own though, and I remembered seeing a pile of fallen branches in his yard.  The rain cleared, and I piled the debris into my truck.   Jim is coming home to a clean space, and I get to cross off a project on my to-do list.  Who knew?  As I worked, deep in thought, I was once again grateful for being led and guided.  Simplistic?  Maybe--but for me, powerful.

"An Addendum to the Postscript"

I want to add an addendum to the "Postscript" I shared yesterday.  Phew!  Is that an overkill sentence or what?!!  I had shared the blog with Dorothy's daughter, and she thanked me for the picture.  She said that she had seen the message  "LOVE" as it was beginning to flower but had never seen it clearly.  Her comment is food for thought:  "Love comes in so many forms."  Like mother, like daughter is what I say.

"A Postscript"

One of the first entries I made in this blog was in memory of a client, Dorothy aka Dot. I was working in Dorothy's backyard today cleaning up debris when my eyes caught some Spring growth, way down in the corner of her back yard, what she called her "meadow." Dorothy had shown me her artwork before and explained to me how it happened to be there, but that was while she was alive. Seeing it again after she has been gone for almost a year and a half was a surprise treat.

Tucked down in the far corner of Dorothy's backyard you can see the spiky vegetation of grape hyacinths growing up and the word LOVE. The story goes that she was planting the bulbs and ran out of places to plant before she ran out of bulbs. Only Dorothy would lay them out to make a statement and dig them in, watching the message repeat itself year after year.   

I'm not sure how many people have been privy to this delightful sight. The only way it can really be seen is from the kitchen window above her sink, two stories up, or from the deck just off the kitchen. I suspect she did it on purpose. "Peter does the cooking, I do the dishes," she would say, and from that vantage point she could easily admire her handiwork. 

The backyard is filled with grape hyacinths now, as they multiply readily, becoming weed-like. The exception is that the individual letters have remained fully visible except where the "E" has been crowded by the forsythia. 

As I spent my time working I found myself thinking about that word "LOVE" and the message Dorothy shared. Those thoughts centered on the fact that "God is love." 

I decided I would spare you my dissertation on love. Instead, I'm going to share the picture with you and leave each of you to your own thoughts.

This much I know: Dorothy physically left over a year ago, and yet she has left her mark. As I stated in my original tribute, "What a way to live!  What a way to die!" By the way, I knew, had she been alive, she would have been praising my great strength as I man-handled a redwood branch into my truck.  :)  

Only Dorothy...

"Pearls"

I cannot ask for forgiveness OR be forgiven if I withhold forgiveness in my heart.  It's as simple as that.

"On Storing Junk"

I made a trip to Macy's yesterday for a makeover--although that word is a long stretch of the imagination. Having someone with experience apply one's makeup doesn't even qualify as a "redo," let alone a makeover. The makeup representative wanted to know how she could help me. I asked if she could start by taking 20 years off. Apparently they don't sell that at Macy's. I did come home with some new make-up, however, with no place to store it. 

There are plenty of drawers in my bathroom and, as a single person, I have only my own things to store. The dumping and sorting began. I found the drawers filled with junk. There were items long forgotten, purchased with the hope of having fabulous skin, yet never used. Many products were taking up space with no chance of my ever making them part of a daily regimen. I found a lot of junk. Pure junk.

Why was I holding onto empty containers, old toothbrushes, ancient perfume, and outdated makeup? Why DO I store so much junk? Probably because it's easier to just stuff things in a drawer than deal with it.

As I took a very large bag of trash to the garbage can, I was thinking about how easy it was to rid myself of the junk in my bathroom drawers. My thoughts went from there to the junk we all store within ourselves. Ridding oneself of that junk is not so easy, yet more important than any physical junk we may be storing.

We all have--or have had--things we carry around internally. The generic description in our current society is to call them "issues." Call it that, call it baggage, stuff, junk--It's all the same. It serves no purpose and takes up as much valuable space within a person as old toothbrushes did in my drawer. Holding on to it is detrimental to one's growth, both spiritually and emotionally.  

Why DO we hold on to this personal junk? Probably for the same reason as in the physical--it's easier to stuff it away than to deal with it.

It is junk, however. The more we have, the less able we are to live life. Junk is toxic to our inner beings. It taints and poisons.

What, exactly, is inner junk? Perhaps one is holding onto a relationship that fell apart, along with its emotions and pain. There might be an unwillingness to let go of a personal affront or offense. Maybe there was an unpleasant incident at work, on the road, at a family gathering. The possible situations are varied, uniquely individual, and without end.

The longer we hold onto any unfavorable facet of an experience or incident, the more harmful it becomes. Left unaddressed, the situation never improves. It is always a negative and will always have a negative effect on how we live life.

Think of it as a rock that is thrown into water, the concentric circles rippling out and touching whatever they come in contact with. An unresolved issue is the same as it moves out and brushes other areas of our lives. It grows and grows, eventually enveloping the whole of our being, the antithesis of a healthy state.

Getting rid of junk isn't easy. And yet it is. For me, it was a decision, coupled with asking my Creator to basically clean me out. Some of it has been hard, because I didn't want to look at myself in light and truth. The end result has always been positive, though. At this point in my life, I can honestly say the outcome is worth it.

I must say, too, that my organized bathroom has become a motivator to address a whole lot of other areas of physical junk in my house. Perhaps I misunderstood what kind of a makeover I would be getting. 










  

"On Valentine's Day"

As one who thinks Valentine's Day is a highly overrated holiday, I may have changed my mind--at least a little bit.  Two phone calls from two grandgirls wishing me "Happy Valentine's Day" with one asking, "Will you be my Valentine?" put a smile on my face all day long.  And this before they even got any Valentine goodies from Gram Gram or Grandma.  :)

"Chainsaws and other False Perceptions aka Lies"

I am afraid of operating a chainsaw.  At least that is what I have said over and over for a long time now.  I not only believed it; I KNEW it.  I am here to state that is a lie.

With all the tree damage from the recent snow and ice storm chainsaws are buzzing all over the place.  None in my hands, though.  That is, until today. 

A client had contacted me asking if I could clean her yard up by Friday.  There were a couple of good-sized oak branches that had come down.  My response was, "Sure."  I went over on a Tuesday with my pruning saw and long-handled pruners in tow.  It didn't take long for me to realize the job would never get done that way.  I told her the next time I came I would bring my electric chainsaw.  It has never made sense to me why I can use an electric chainsaw and believe I'm not really using a chainsaw, but that is how it was.  Today I realized that a:  I'm not afraid and b:  an electric chainsaw that cuts through 4" diameter oak limbs is as deadly as a gas-powered one. 

As I was zipping through the branches with my newly-found skill I found myself thinking:  What other limitations have I put on myself without even realizing it?  I make statements about myself and go on with life living in a false perception.  For example, "I don't know how to swim, because I don't like water."  The truth is that I have simply never learned how.  "I can't back up a trailer," so I make a point of never pulling one.  How hard would it be to take the time and again, simply learn how?  "I don't know how to dance," so I don't dance.  A pattern is emerging here--that of beginning with a negative, slapping it in a mental box and going forward, believing it to be true.

I was created to have an abundant life, not one that is marked by self-imposed limitations at every turn.  That chainsaw gave me food for thought.  I'm not saying I'm going to be applying for a cutter's job in my son-in-law's logging company, but it did feel good!

 

"On Procrastination and Swimsuits"

Since I am one who has a tendency to be a procrastinator, I am often surprised by the perfect timing I experience in my life.   

I began a tradition several years ago of giving swimsuits to my five grandgirls on Valentine's Day in lieu of candy.  The thing about a tradition is that once you start it, you bear the responsibility of continuing it.  I'm just never sure if I'm going to come through on that. 

Time is zipping right along these days, so February snuck right up on me, and I knew Valentine's Day was just around the corner.  I thought about the swimsuits more than once, but never got around to checking out their availability online.  That's the procrastinator part of me in action.

Early one morning I found myself checking with my daughters as to sizes, color and style preferences.  The next thing I knew I was actually online, making the necessary swimsuit purchases.  I wanted to have them shipped directly and imagine my genuine surprise when I found they are expected to be delivered on February 14. This brings me to a "pearl" I live by:  "Not a moment too soon; not a moment too late."  This, not because of me, but in spite of me.

"Happy Birthday to Lisa"

I have found a captive audience for my piano renditions.  I have the cell phone numbers of my four kids!  I can record a particular song on my cell phone, opt for the send mode, and voila'--They get it whether they wanted it or not, although they do have the option to not listen.

A couple of days ago I sent a small portion to my kids of one I'm working on--George Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Blue."  I doubt I'll have it worked up in this lifetime as it is a complex piece, 31 pages long.  I wanted them to hear what little bit I have accomplished. Two of the girls responded, one wanting to know the name of the piece, the other commenting, "It's not 'Happy Birthday'."   My response to the latter:  "It's not your birthday." 

Well, today IS her birthday.  This morning I sat down at the piano with my cell phone and recorded "Happy Birthday" and sent it on its way.  The return message was, "Thank you.  I've been waiting for that. :)"  What fun!  Happy birthday, Lisa! 

"It's the Little Things That Count"

My 1997 Ford Ranger pickup is my workhorse.  In fact, I'm surprised I've never named it, but I haven't.  In the years I've owned it I have spent far more on its care and upkeep than I ever have on myself.  However, without it I wouldn't have my gardening business.  With almost 220,000 miles logged on it maintenance is a priority.  That and having the name of a mechanic and tow truck company in my cell phone contact list. 

An oil change has been on my to-do list for a while now.  It was 800 miles overdue.  In fact, I had specifically planned my schedule to include a stop at my Lube-It place two days in a row last week only to remember around bed-time--remember that I had forgotten.  With a road trip coming up the oil change was front and center.  I headed over fully expecting an additional expense due to some flush or belt replacement that would show up on their schedule.  They keep track of that stuff, and I simply do what is recommended. 

After pulling into the bay I was greeted with the news that I had come in on the day of Lube-It's 25th birthday celebration.  The initial good news was that I was to be given 25% off any work done.  I was offered the choice of a gift from their goody basket, and I was delighted to find a solar shield with my name on it.  When my truck sits out in the heat I really feel the lack of A/C when I am ready to head home.  An additional goody bag filled with chocolate, a garbage bag for my truck, a pen, an air freshener for my rig---Who knew my timing would be so perfect? 

There are some people who say they will believe there is a God "if" they see a certain sign or "when" they have some sort of supernatural experience---a fabricated "hoop" from their mind which He is supposed to jump through in order to validate Himself, to prove His existence.  I say, "It's the little things that count."  By the way,  the little red truck was ship-shape, needing only an oil change.  And that at 25% off.  Again I say, "It's the little things that count."