empathy: n. Identification with or understanding of the thoughts, feelings, or emotional state of another person.
As I headed down the sidewalk for a walk in the fresh air, my shoes shouted for attention. I found them quite intriguing, with their own story to tell.
I am trying to walk with regularity since I retired four months ago from my gardening business--even if it's only for a short distance. The brief physical activity is no replacement for the steps per day I tallied behind a mower. However, my body feels better when I’m moving in the fresh air. I feel better.
The shoes were gifted to me by my daughter before we headed for Scotland and Ireland three years ago. She knew we would be doing a lot of walking, and even though I never tried them on before purchase, they fit perfectly. They are well-worn yet still serviceable. The soles reveal my individual gait. The tread on the outside heel of each shoe is worn down, an indication of how I roll my foot from the outer to the inner with each step. This was always a source of great consternation for my poor mother. “You're so hard on shoes! Your brothers don't need new shoes nearly as often as you do.” The message was that I needed to walk differently. I didn’t then. I still don’t.
The shoes triggered a flow of memories. I remember wearing them while standing on the banks of Loch Lomond in Scotland with my daughter and grandgirl. I wore them when I climbed the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland, a vertical equivalent of eight flights of stairs. They’ve been to Edinburgh Castle and wandered through Windsor Castle in London. The shoes have covered miles and miles of pavement.
And here I am, walking on a sidewalk in Eugene, Oregon. No one would ever know where my shoes have been by looking at them. No one would know where I have been by looking at me.
There is an obvious point to be made here, the crux. Every pair of shoes tells a story. That story belongs to the one wearing them. No two stories are alike, because no two people are alike.
It’s very easy to look at another person and see only physical characteristics or personal attributes. The next time you see someone, and judgement is quick to appear, look at their shoes—not the style, color, or design. Consider their story and that of the person wearing them.We cannot know what state another
is in, be it mental, physical, spiritual, or financial. There is no way of knowing
where a person has been, what they have gone through or what is happening to them in the present. Perhaps they just lost their job or received a negative report from their doctor. A child may be causing them grief, a spouse is abusing them, or they just received notice of eviction. There is no end to the calamities that befall humankind.
While we can't change the circumstances of those we encounter, this is my suggestion: A little bit of
compassion, empathy, and kindness goes a long way in how we treat people. A lot
goes even further.
“You can’t understand someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.” Unknown