On Time and the Giving of It

time:  The inevitable progression into the future with the passing of present events into the past.

 

Time is one of those universal commodities given to every man, woman, and child living on the face of this earth. Each of us is given twenty-four hours in a day. Sixty minutes in an hour. Sixty seconds in a minute. No more. No less. It is true equity.

Time has a different "feel" at different stages of life. A child has all the time in the world, whereas parents can't find enough of it to get everything done while meeting the demands of the family's rigorous schedule. Those of us who are 70-somethings find ourselves dealing with the reality of time passing like a flash in the night. Many elderly folks live a paradox. They have nothing but time on their hands as they live their days in solitude and loneliness, yet they have very little of it left.  

Whether consciously or unconsciously, we as humans categorize and prioritize our time. There is time for work, family, and leisure. Time is set aside for events, activities, and vacation. And--God forbid if it is interrupted--sleep. But often the most important of all is never factored in. And that is "people" time.

When I give my time to another, I am giving of myself. I am sharing "me." No one else can do that but me. Gifts can be purchased and delivered, but the gift of time carries no price tag. While there is a time and place for volunteer work, that is not what I am speaking of here.

"I'm busy now. I don't have time." How often are those words heard in a family? Or perhaps coming from one in a position of authority or a leadership role. Consider the message and the feeling it evokes: You have interrupted me and my life. You do not matter enough for me to stop what I'm doing. Go away.

That same message, though unspoken, is also delivered as we plow through our daily lives, making certain we do not interact with people we aren't acquainted with. After all, we have things to do, people to see, and places to go. Strangers are people we'll never see again, so they don't really matter. Or do they?

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We have known each other for decades and have had a friendship for the past several years. Neither of us has a sister. The term sister/friend fits well.

I had gone to visit her, and we stopped by the grocery store to pick up a few things. While waiting in line to check out she quietly commented, "Just a minute. This lady needs some help." She had seen what I hadn't. An elderly lady, no larger than a minute, was struggling with bagging her groceries. She had an over-sized container of detergent, and it was far too heavy and bulky for her to handle. My friend stepped in and placed the items in sacks, telling her that she would help get the groceries into her car. "This is the last time I'm going to do this," the older woman commented. She shared she was in the process of moving into a facility where meals would be provided.

We finished and headed to her car, loading the items in the back. She chattered the whole time, talking about originally moving from Rhode Island and the current move taking place. She was grateful and thrilled, the recipient of the gift of time.

This is how my friend lives. She gives time where and when it is needed as she gives of herself. And she does it quietly, never seeking attention. It is second nature to her; it is the kind of person she is.

She and I spoke recently of being available when called upon. Her comment is one which has stuck with me--"You just have to make time. Loving the broken is loving Him."

The gift of time is a gift indeed. It is often not noticed, therefore not acknowledged, as no bells and whistles go off, no balloons are released into the air. It is the act of being present, lending an ear and providing companionship and help if needed.

Each of us is given time. Perhaps you've heard the charge to use your time wisely and make the most of it. The context of that admonition is generally connected to an activity or a goal. 

That is my charge too: Use your time wisely and make the most of it. But I ask you to consider the value and importance of giving time as a gift. Give and share yourself. The world would be a better place.

"And the king will answer them, 'Truly I tell you, just as you did it to

one of the least of these who are members of my family,

you did it to me.'"

Matthew 25:40

 

On Thumpers and Gliders and Other Differences

There are thumpers in this world. And there are gliders. At least that is my experience. They are as opposite from one another as the South Pole is from the North. Gliders are often upset and bothered by the sounds of a thumper; thumpers, generally, are not at all ruffled by gliders.

A glider enters a room quietly, barely making any sound, unless wearing high heels. On the other hand, a thumper can be heard approaching from quite a distance, with or without shoes as the sound of footsteps reverberates through the air. On occasion, the force is so solid, glassware rattles in cupboards. Such is the case with me. I openly admit and confess to being a thumper. I walk hard. And that is an understatement. In fact "thud" would probably be a more accurate description than "thump."

It had been a while since I gave it much thought. As a gardener, I don't make much of a sound walking behind a lawn mower and, living alone, am oblivious with no one to remind me. While cleaning a house today, I was barefooted. Because I land solidly on my heels first, the bare feet amplify the impact. I heard and observed the thump and the glassware. Memories of the chastisements from days gone by filled my mind. "Why DO you walk so hard? Can't you walk more softly? You're shaking the whole house. Try walking like a lady." The comments from gliders were gone, but not forgotten. I began processing the memories.

The unspoken message delivered was that something was wrong with me. I needed to change. I tried--more than once.The success rate was right at 0%, along with efforts to transform my curly hair to bone-straight, rid myself of a down-right stubborn streak, eliminate the procrastination factor, and change countless other traits and characteristics that make up the person I am.

It took a while to understand it isn't a right or wrong thing. It is a difference. I'm not the same as others. However, when one is struggling with self-acceptance and self-confidence, it's a monkey wrench thrown in that takes time and sorting to figure out.

Another person's differences are not cause for a rush to judgment. It is so easy to react, to respond critically without even thinking. We all handle situations differently, and when that is viewed as being right or wrong, negativity enters in. For example, I drive in a manner that is different from any other driver on the road. How often does that upset the one in the car behind me as I cautiously wait for traffic to pass before turning onto a street? I have a habit of asking questions I already know the answer to. That creates its own frustrations in my family. And I haven't even begun to discuss the differences in the way we each think and view ethics, philosophy, politics, the environment, nature, and religion...just to name a few. 

We are individuals; therefore, we are different from one another. No two people are the same.

Much of the focus in our country is placed on racial biases and prejudices. There is, however, a bias, prejudice, and an intolerance developing in our society and our nation toward any who disagree with those in the position of power and control. "We are right; therefore, you are wrong." Not so. 

We think, believe, and act differently, but they are differences, not a justification for division, rejection, or judgment. I am friends with many people with whom I differ in opinion and belief. That does not make me right and them wrong or vice versa. It means we are individuals, with a right to our respective points of view.

My uniqueness, including that of being a thumper, is God-given. So, too, is yours. God help us as a nation if we get to the point where difference is not respected, expected, and allowed. We are not--and must not be--clones. And, for myself as well, I need to be very careful I am not coming from a place of judgment when viewing other's differences, be they inner or outer. 

I told a former client my "thumper" story, telling of the criticisms and harsh comments I've received over the years. "Did you know that is a good thing?" she asked. She went on to say her doctor told her walking with impact increases bone density. In fact, the impact is what is important. Who knew? Certainly not the gliders in my life. Nor I. It's all in how you look at it, isn't it? 

May I treat others with the same level of respect I would like given to me--despite our differences.

"Do not judge, so that you may not be judged.

For the judgment you give will be the judgment you get."

Matthew 7: 1, 2