"On Being Grounded"

grounded:  adj.  confined to stay inside, typically by a parent, as a punishment; in aviation, not allowed to fly.

grounded:  adj.  well balanced and sensible.

discipline:  v.  train (someone) to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience.

The almost-13-year-old had been given a decision to make.  She was to choose between missing out on the birthday party of a friend at an ice skating rink, an event she had been looking forward to for days, or she was to relinquish her cell phone for 30 days. For 30 whole days she was to be "grounded," forbidden use of the instrument which is a social connection, a life-line for a pre-teen.

Her parents were not being cruel nor were they being abusive.  Being honest and forthright is the standard of this family's household, and when that standard wasn't met there were consequences. 

For many generations, corporal punishment was the typical form of discipline for children. A parent or an authority figure, perhaps a teacher or coach, deliberately caused physical pain or discomfort to a minor child in response to undesired behavior by the child.  This was done by spanking or slapping the child with an open hand or an implement such as a paddle. The premise of it was that the fear of the punishment would be a deterrent from any future miscreant conduct.   

In my own life, my mother had a wooden stick used for stirring paint as her paddling stick. When she could no longer deal with me, I was taken to the wood shed by Dad.  The size of his hand seemed enormous as he paddled me.  While I'm certain there was pain involved, I don't remember ever feeling that I did not deserve the punishment I received.  I always knew my actions warranted that response from my parents, and highly suspect it was my sassy "mouth," the need to have the last word, that pushed them over.  

Children enter a family and a home without experience.  It is the role of the parents to nurture, guide, to train and to teach them the values and principles which will be their moral and spiritual foundation as they live the rest of their lives.   In the home they learn, both from example and daily experiences, how to interact with others, behavior which is acceptable or unacceptable, and what it means to be disciplined.  It is not for the parent to be the one who controls, but to use every day incidents to encourage development and the growth of self-control.    

In recent years "grounding," the restriction placed on a child from an activity or favorite object, has become a preferred technique used in discipline and training, rather than that of exacting both physical and emotional pain. 

There is a clear correlation between that of earthly parents and the Heavenly One in methods of discipline and training.

God is omnipotent, all powerful, and there is a widespread perception, a false one, that He is cruel and mean, that He is controlling, and is the picture of One who abuses power.  In truth He is none of those things but, rather, the epitome' of loving parent. 

He is the innovator of instruction, of utilizing every day life to teach a better way to live that life. At times the experiences become quite difficult and harsh, but that is only because of our stubbornness and refusal to work with Him, to allow Him into our lives.  Wake-up calls are often ignored, and He is given no other option than to apply more pressure.  "If there was any other way....."  "Eternity is a long, long time."

To be grounded in aviation means a pilot is not allowed to fly.  That same term applied by God simply means my "wings" are clipped, and I have been placed in a set of circumstances not of my choosing.  Life as I had planned it has been altered.  The experience can be as mundane as weather conditions affecting a train trip, causing a delay, or as dramatic as retirement plans being altered due to an illness, a stock market crash, a natural disaster.

As a young woman, I had life as a mother all set.  I knew how many children I was going to have and had determined I would decide when I was going to have them.  Nothing went as I had anticipated.  One of my early experiences at being "grounded," I eventually realized I quite simply had not been allowed to have my own way.  And that is the point and purpose of discipline at the hand of God.  His way is a better way.

I questioned my grandgirl about her "grounding" experience, asking her if she felt the punishment was effective and what she learned from it.  "I have never lied since," she said, "which, that was like 2 months ago.  I do feel that taught me something.  Taught me a lesson to never lie, always tell the truth.....because (lying) can get you in trouble, can hurt someone's feelings." 

The terms discipline and punishment have such negative undercurrents attached to them in today's society that there is a reluctance to apply them.  However, when they come from a base of love and wisdom they are necessary and valuable.

In being "grounded," at His hand, one becomes grounded.  And you may quote me on that.    



"It is never fun to be corrected.  In fact, at the time it is always painful.  But if we learn to obey by being corrected, we will do right and live at peace."    

   

     
      



  

"On the Endgame"

endgame:  n.  the final stage of an extended process or course of events.

"Ladonna----"  Focused on pruning a massive climbing rose, his voice startled me, and I heard him before I saw him.  From the other side of the fence the upper portion of his face was visible as he peeked over.  A former landscaper and one who is a peer, our conversations when I am working in his neighbor's garden are often either about gardening or subjects relating to our age, as we are both in our 70's. 

It has been the never-ending Winter this year, and Spring days with sunny warmth have been few and far between.  We lamented about that, and he told of his recent knee replacement surgery and the recuperative process and progress. 

The speed with which time is passing entered into our discussion and with it the reality of being a "senior" and the brief amount of time left in our lives.  "We're all on the same conveyor belt," he said, "and when it stops, it stops."  His belief is that when death comes there is nothing to follow.  It wasn't necessary to express my belief that physical death is just a stepping stone into an eternal realm.

Not many people awaken in the morning when their eyes first crack open with the knowledge that "Today is the last day I am going to live life on this earth."  Yet every single day death, the end of physical life, becomes the personal experience of over 150,000 people around the world regardless of age, station in life, or where they live.

In the realm of athletics the end of the game, the last few seconds of play, may result in a win or loss.  Often a "hail Mary pass" in football or a 3-point shot from center court in basketball is executed in the hopes of coming out the victor.  In games such as bridge or chess the endgame is the final stage when few pieces or cards remain, and they need to be played carefully in order to win.  How, then, can that term have a spiritual application?

My mother once told me of an experience she had; some would call it a vision.  "I was walking down a road," she said, "and I came up to a door.  The door opened, and there He stood, just as big as life."  "Who?" I asked.  "Well, God," she answered.  "Who do you think?"  "Were you afraid of Him," I questioned.  "No.  Should I have been?" 

This is the endgame for each and every person alive--one last step, one last breath before that door opens up, and we enter into eternity.

Perhaps life has been lived with very little thought given to or about God, the daily routine filled with activities in a busy social schedule. There have been things to do, people to see and places to go to, and time is at a premium. With bucket lists yet to be fulfilled and goals to be reached before life comes to an end, no room or time was left for Him.

Oftentimes people speak of living each day as though it was their last by focusing on the treatment of friends and family.  I would suggest the attention be turned the opposite direction--toward God as He is where we all are headed.

There will come a time when there are no more chess pieces or cards left, no more plays to be made.  It will be over.  Be prepared for the inevitable, the unavoidable.  Make certain your endgame is your "A" game.    


"This very night your life is being demanded of you.  And the things you have prepared, whose will they be?  So it is with those who store up treasures for themselves but are not rich toward God."