At the age of 74 ("almost 75," I hear myself saying), my gardening business is in its seventeenth season. It is grunt work--weeding, mowing, pruning, maintenance work. I am tired. God and I have had discussions about when it is going to end and how I am going to support myself when it does--well, I have anyway. He sees the work as being about the people I am in contact with, whereas i always end up in a financial place.
I am neither here nor there. My heart isn't in the work these days, but the money makes a difference in how I live my life, and I'm not ready to let go. I have turned a couple of large jobs over to a young man, jobs I no longer enjoy. Weed eating blackberries on a slope with the possibility of encountering bees has lost its appeal. I don't have a clue what I'm doing or what is going to happen. Am I retiring, going part-time? Will I continue working, being more selective in the work I do? I do not know, and my heavenly Father isn't giving any hints.
This meme is an accurate representation of life with God. I can't even find the nose on the end of my face. While weeding this afternoon, He reminded me that without faith it is impossible to please Him. And He whispers, "Do you trust me?" I can honestly say He has never, ever failed me.