"It's a Love/Hate Thing"

A morning ritual has developed.  One of the first things I do when I awaken is to check my cell phone to see if I received any text messages while I was sleeping.  With a cup of tea in hand, I then settle in my rocking chair with my I-pad to scroll through "New Stories" on Facebook, look at e-mails, and continue play in an online Scrabble game.  The ritual often includes going to this blog site and either writing a new post or editing current ones.  After a great deal of evaluation, I have made the assessment that I have a love/hate relationship with the electronic gadgets in my life. 

In the beginning of home computer use, I was wary of the internet.  My thought was that anything called the "web" couldn't be good.  It may have been a prophetic appraisal.

I took longer than most to purchase one of the updated, upgraded phones because I know myself and my propensity for addictive behavior.  In fact, I might still be content with my older, industrial-type phone were it not for a family member's move to another state and the promise to Face Time with them.   A Mother’s Day gift from the family, gift cards to my cell phone server, left me with no excuses for not actively being part of this electronic age.   

The I-pad, I-phone, and laptop computer I have are a double-edged sword.  Instant communication via e-mail or text, Facebook, Google search, MapQuest—There are pros and there are cons.

On the plus side is being able to share in the lives of my family--seeing an Idaho grandgirl in a volleyball game as it happens, another at a guitar lesson; a picture of another at a local swimming pool, the oldest grandgirl with her first car, and yet another with new glasses. These are all on the pro side of the column as are confirming schedules with my clients, googling "property associations" while helping the grandgirl with homework, searching out new recipes, knitting patterns and ideas, and having a personal navigator while driving.  

So many connections, reconnections, and contacts have been made as a result of these tools--family members, childhood friends and classmates, people on the other side of the world.  

The time factor is one I would place on the con side.  Moderation has never been my forte’, and I find myself spending far too much time being involved with a piece of electronic equipment, checking for messages, e-mails, and Facebook updates.  In addition, I am addicted to Words With Friends, an interactive Scrabble game.  How can one spend so much time searching for the perfect word with the maximum amount of points?  I don’t have an answer, but search I do.

Another negative is that when one speaks with a person one-on-one, humor, sarcasm, and anger are visible and felt.  Facial expressions and body language make that evident. Communicating and conveying thoughts and ideas via text or e-mail is far more difficult. Even with the emoticoms one's tone is not easily translatable.  A lot of time is spent explaining what I really mean. 

As I have mentally wrestled with this issue, I came to the conclusion that there is a fine line between being in control and being controlled.  A dear family member/friend, who is not on Facebook commented, “That is just one less thing I have to manage.”  A valid point I have considered myself.

 

I love it; I hate it.  As with so many things in life, I think it’s finding balance.  I’m still working on it. 

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to see if it’s my turn on Words With Friends.

   

"On Contrast and Compare"

contrast:  v.  To set in opposition in order to show the difference or differences between.
compare:  v.  To assess the similarities and differences between two or more things.

Hot and cold. Day and night. Light and dark. Rich and poor. Sickness and Health. To contrast and compare is part of everyday life, often without conscious thought or an awareness of doing it.

My appetite was gone. The thought of food had no appeal, not even that of bulk food bin #2001, a chocolate/nut mix favorite at the local grocer. I knew then I was physically ill and not just languishing in a mentally laggard state of slothfulness.  Sometimes my mind needs to get in gear before my body decides to go to work. I assumed that was the case.

For several days I had been pushing myself, dragging my heels.  The previous day I heard myself say repeatedly, “I don’t feel good.”  The loss of appetite was a clincher, proof positive it was physical, not mental. Feeling ill vs. feeling well. 

The concept of contrast and compare can be a valuable tool in life, one which provides a perspective and aids in bringing understanding to many experiences in life, often a before-and-after picture.

Deep depression was present and an on-going condition in my life for many years. I never cease to revel in the life I now live and know.  It is a picture of contrast and comparison. I feel I value and appreciate my current state more because of being trapped--and living in--the former one.

My heart goes out to those who struggle.  I would never have the same capacity for understanding or care had I not been in that place myself. I know and experienced the hell-hole depths of darkness and hopelessness of life.  At the same time, I carry a sense of hope and possibility for others.   

There are other areas in my life where I see contrast as well, an insight into changes in my inner, former states vs. the present. I have been given a clear mind, replacing mental chaos and a mind so filled with debris that thought processes were difficult. I can hear and sense my Creator. To think. To reason. Tears have been replaced with laughter. I no longer live under the bondage of obsessive, addictive behavior but in freedom. A grim outlook of absolute hopelessness and negativism has changed into a bright, positive outlook. A life of lies and darkness switched to living a life in truth and light.

Why do bad things happen to good people?”  I propose the substitution of the word “hard” for “bad.”  Life’s experiences may be hard, but that doesn’t make them bad. In fact, it’s the opposite.  They are invaluable in stretching us, developing maturity, and producing compassion and empathy, understanding for others.

Designed circumstances provide the opportunity to become the kind of person we were originally created to be. They change us. This, in contrast to remaining shallow, self-centered, narcissistic beings.   

What was is no more.  And this is what I want you to see--not only do the hard times bring about change both on the inner and the outer, they also create a point of reference.  In the contrast and comparison between what was and what is, we can always remember where we were, where we came from, and what a gift our present state is.  For me, that is the basis of ongoing gratitude to the One who brought me through, Who has given me the life I have.

"Weeping may linger for the night, but joy comes with the morning."  Psalm 30:5

                                     

  

 

     

 

"On 'People First'"

Dinner was the most basic fare, a dish which hearkens back decades, known in my family as “Grandma’s Macaroni and Tomatoes.”  I had purchased the necessary ingredients to prepare it the last time I shopped, although the peppers and kidney beans are my embellishments, not hers.  Her meal consisted of crisping bacon, sautéing onions in the grease, and adding dry macaroni and home canned tomatoes.  Often prepared for a family home from school for lunch, it was a filler dish readily made with ingredients on hand.

As I began preparing, chopping the vegetables and frying the bacon slices, my thoughts were on this woman who was a part of my life for over 30 years.

For her, meal preparation was done on a wood cook stove, even after electric ranges were available to the general population.  She worked in the kitchen alone, often cooking for an “army,” as it were—hungry adult men, their families, lots of children.  When holidays came she made certain a favorite pie had been made for each and every person at her table.  Pies lined every available counter space, memories in the making.  There was no cleanup help, no dishwasher; she was the sole "cook and bottle washer," as they say.

As one who had the most minimal of resources and provisions with which to work, she never turned anyone away from a meal.  If you were in her home at mealtime, you were fed and fed well--not lavishly, but no one ever had reason to leave the table hungry.

“People First.”  This precept, this admonition and adage, is one introduced to me many years ago by a lifelong friend, one that has been repeated and reinforced over and over again.  I’ve considered  writing on it for quite some time, but found it an elusive subject to express in words—until “Grandma’s Macaroni and Tomatoes.” 

sacrifice:  selfless, good deeds for others; surrender or giving up anything for the sake of something or someone else

“People First” and sacrifice go hand in hand.  One cannot and does not put others first without that thread of selflessness running through one's being.  It is an unconscious characteristic, the natural state of a person, one where no ulterior motives are involved or manifest, no thought of debt, being owed, or recompense. 

It is simply placing another’s needs or desires ahead of self;  it is giving time when that is asked, giving an ear to hear, to listen; it is being available, giving of oneself.  "People First" is literally placing another ahead of myself.

Another aspect of this pearl is that people are more important than any one, single material thing.  I could have virtually every object  money can buy but, without people in my life, I would be a shell of a person.  People are more important than power, prestige, social status, financial gain.  They are eternal.  That cannot be applied even to an antique, certainly not an expensive piece of jewelry or clothing, the best automobile or home money can buy. 

Small, young, teens, middle-age, the elderly—There is no age differentiation in this directive of "People First."  So when a little munchkin accidentally breaks a priceless treasure, the child is important, not the object.  When a drink is spilled inside a vehicle, which has the soul—the car or the one who did the spilling?  When an important conversation is taking place, my time is not mine, but belongs to the one needing to vent, to voice, to be heard.

Neither is "People First" limited to, nor defined by, only those who are family and friends. There is a world filled with people, people who simply need someone to notice, to care.

How to live one’s life is an important consideration.  Life can be lived well or.....not so well.  I have observed, witnessed, and experienced firsthand “People First” in action and feel it is an important foundational building block in life.  I honestly do not know if it is attainable for all, but its value and worth cannot be underestimated.

Grandma and her “Macaroni and Tomatoes” go hand in hand with “People First.”  I am an advocate for personal change and growth at the hand of my Creator.  This one is priceless.