"On a Gift From the Heart"

When it was delivered to me it was neatly folded, in a type of pillow case made of a blue chambray fabric, pinned closed with a safety pin along the open edge.  A small plastic bag secured to the case held a picture of several women displaying the gift along with a letter and a small booklet, a Gospel of John.  

Written to the recipient and signed by the ones who made it, the letter read:  "Dear Quilt of Honor Recipient.  'The Threadbearers' are a group of quilters that meet at Harbor Baptist Church in Winchester Bay, Oregon.  We want to thank you for your service to our country. May this quilt bring comfort and love.  Your service is appreciated.  May God richly bless you."  The emotion I experienced surprised me.  It was, after all, just a quilt, pieces of fabric sewn together to make a blanket.  But it was much more than that.  The love and the sincerity with which it was made and given was palpable, powerful, and real, a gift from the heart.  

Carefully removing it from its cloth wrapping, I unfolded it. Constructed with fabric of a patriotic theme, the craftsmanship was outstanding.  It was beautiful, quite simply.... beautiful. On the underside corner a handmade label was sewn, with the recipient's name and the name of the group stating " 'Quilt of Honor.' Thank you and God bless."    

It was my privilege to deliver this handmade quilt to a veteran, a long time friend since grade school, honoring and acknowledging his service to his country 50 years ago.  The bonus was that it was a surprise, an unexpected delivery of a gift, one given from the heart.

The Threadbearers originated in 2003 with one woman who had a vision and a desire. Now a group of 10-15 quilters, most of them retirees, they can be found on any given Monday morning in a church basement, designing and creating quilts to be given to the men and women in their local community who served in this country's military.  Many of these women feel it is their personal ministry, a way of expressing God's love and saying "thank you" to some who may have been forgotten.  Each quilt is unique, one-of-a-kind, as the intent is to make them as individual as each recipient is.    

These are the quiet ones among us, the humble, the ones who have no desire to make a name for themselves, to draw attention to themselves, or to even receive recognition, but to fulfill a mission, one they are passionate about, one they feel deeply about.

The recipients are often the quiet ones among us as well, at least when speaking about themselves and their service in the military.  Reticent, often reluctant to share, many of them carry a heavy burden, unseen by acquaintances, friends, and family.  

"War is hell."  Having served in Vietnam, the Persian Gulf, Iraq, Afghanistan, or other places, they left those countries behind at the end of their service when they returned home.  However, those countries and the experiences there did not leave them behind as they deal with physical, mental, and emotional damage incurred decades ago. They are the wounded of our nation.    

It is said that "Time heals all wounds."  For many veterans that is not an accurate statement. Deep scars remain and, while time has perhaps softened the agonizing pain, the memories remain, surfacing with reckless abandon.  In addition, in many circles the military is not viewed as a highly regarded calling.  For those who gave of themselves and their lives for their country the lack of respect and harsh judgment is a "hard pill to swallow," difficult to reconcile.  

In particular, Vietnam veterans returned back home to a seed bed of animosity.  The climate across the country was one of a resistance to that war and no mercy was shown to those who served, many being cursed, even spat upon for their service.  Returning from a hell, they were thrust back into an even worse kind of hell--rejection and betrayal by fellow Americans, some of them their own family members as well as their government, causing them to retreat within themselves and deal with their experiences in silence.

Unlike previous times of military engagements, these men and women were not given a "thank you," let alone being honored for the lives they left behind in that country.  A lifetime later, a Quilt of Honor gives acknowledgement and recognition in a personal, meaningful way.  

One Quilt of Honor recipient poignantly shared it this way:

"I never felt appreciated when I came home.  No one ever said 'Thank you for your service, and I'm glad you're home.'  Some vets felt betrayed by the Government, and it made the cold reception even worse.  We got so we kept our Vietnam service to ourselves.  It wasn't until we were involved in the Middle East that I had someone say 'Thanks for your service' to me.  It was in the Safeway parking lot, and he wasn't a veteran.  It was just a guy, which made it special.  It was an emotional experience.  That's the way receiving the quilt made me feel.  It was like a personal, special 'Thank you' just for me, from the ladies who sewed the quilt and from the person who made it happen for me."  

Upon receipt of the gift, the response and reaction of the recipient is often that of being overwhelmed.  It is difficult for them to comprehend the thoughtfulness, kindness, and generosity of complete strangers.  "Thank you just isn't enough," is a common comment.  One veteran placed his quilt on the back of the couch so he could look at it; others hang them on the wall, in a window in order to display them.  

Over the years, "The Threadbearers"  have delivered hundreds of quilts to our veterans, as many as 123 in a given year.  They are gifts.  No compensation, payment, or donation is requested.  These ladies have never had a "money-maker" to purchase materials and supplies, no raffle or offering plate.  And yet, 13 years later, they "happily sew away."

What is a gift from the heart?  How does it differ from other gifts?  A gift from the heart is not the object given but the origin of it.  It can be anything--an object purchased or hand-made, a gift of time or assistance.  Personal and priceless, no dollar figure can be placed upon it.  

Coming from the mind of God, beginning as a single seed of thought, the base of it is love, as He is love.  Given to one to fulfill, it has a life of its own, continuing to grow over time. These are not gifts which are forgotten, ending up in a discard or donation pile.  No other type of gift, regardless of its monetary value, has that potential or capability, that of growth. 

A gift from the heart is one which touches and affects not only the recipient, but the giver as well. These quilts are a perfect example, providing both physical and emotional comfort for the recipient while giving the ones who bestow the gift a deep sense of satisfaction and purpose.

When it comes time for a Quilt of Honor to be "given a home," as the gifting is called, a small group of women, the ones who have spent hours at the fabric store, the cutting table, and then at their sewing machines creating it, gather together and pray, asking that God will be honored, that He is given all gratitude and appreciation, and praying for the one who will receive it.

Following the lead and the example of their Heavenly Father as He freely gave and continues to give, these are "The Threadbearers," ordinary women with fabric, needle, and thread.   Affecting and having an impact on countless numbers of men and women, their families, and their friends, these Quilts of Honor are undeniably gifts of love, a gift from the heart.



"God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son.  Anyone who believes in Him will not die, but have eternal life."  John 3:16      

     

     




  

"On How to Win an Argument"

argument:  a verbal dispute, a quarrel--not to be confused with
argumentation:  reasoning, discussion, debate

Have you ever been privy to an argument and found yourself wanting to shout, "Stop it! Stop the fighting!  Stop arguing!?"

It often begins as a simple disagreement.  In culinary terms, an argument could be categorized as a two-ingredient recipe.  All that is required is two people with differing opinions and points of view--and that isn't hard to find.  It's not even necessary that they know one another.  There is no minimum requirement for age, and the entire spectrum of gender, race and creed is covered.  The subject matter is boundless, ranging from ordinary and mundane to critical, important issues.

An argument is a war of words where theories or facts, personal experiences and input, data, suppositions, opinions, and hypothetical situations are all thrown in the mix.  Some of it is reasonable and logical, but it is not a requirement.  Not for an argument.  The perceived purpose is for one of the parties to convince the other their position is the "right" one.  Ergo, it is predetermined that the other party has the "wrong" one.

It is not in the nature of mankind to readily concede.  Driven by the need to be right, to prove others wrong, to win--all is fodder for a war of words.  And that atmosphere of controversy is not conducive to that which is positive.  

In this era of social media and instant communication, one is able to converse not only with friends and acquaintances but with total strangers as well.  In a climate of division throughout the nation, much of that interaction is argumentative.  It can be tempting to enter into an ongoing conversation on an endless choice of web sites, to express a personal position with the hopes of persuasion taking place. Realistically, that never takes place.  

Any argument has the potential to escalate from that simple disagreement to vicious animosity, from a mere difference in opinion or perspective to full-blown battle, with a possible catastrophic outcome.  How often does that happen in a household between parent and child, in the workplace between employees, in a restaurant or local bar when discussing politics?  Walking down the street, going through the mall, the grocery store, at a football game--Listen and you will hear various stages of arguments taking place all around.  

So how does one win an argument?  There are no winners; no one wins.  One need only have experience with a 4-year-old refusing to wear boots in a rain storm, a pre-teen who sees no value in a shower, or an 18-year-old trying out his/her wings to have verification of that.  It is my feeling that arguments accomplish nothing, serving no purpose other than creating division.

When dealing with one's peers or fellow man, the better approach is to simply not engage. As an argument begins to unfold, silence is often the best counter.  It does take two.  
  
The expectation that arguments are won and lost is not valid.  No one is ever won over to another way of thinking by the words I say, the argument I present, but rather, by my life, my actions.  It is an old saying but a true one:  "Actions speak louder than words."  

Just because I disagree with someone doesn't mean I have to express it;  and if another disagrees with me, as my Mother always said, "It takes all kinds."  For me, that is a win-win. 



"A gentle answer turns away rage, but a harsh word stirs up anger."    

"On Chance....Or Not"

chance:  random occurrence; luck or fortune


Her name is Jaylynn.

I have never met her, have no idea of her age, what she looks like, or where she lives, but our paths crossed yesterday.  Some would say the universe with its planets and stars were lined up perfectly.  Others would call it "chance."  

Watching television is not one of my consuming passions; the expense of having so many channel choices is more than I want to spend.  Calculating it to be $3 a day for typically one hour of use I decided, "Perhaps I can get rid of some of the many channels and save a few bucks."  And so a call was made to my television provider.

The young woman was thorough, professional, intelligible, and helpful, and a new plan was enacted for the requested savings. 

At what point the exchange became a conversation I cannot tell you, but we spoke of animals, the evidence of the prevalent lack of work ethic in this current generation, relationships.  It was give-and-take as she shared current happenings in her life, and I contributed with my own experiences and perspective.  

I shared with her that I am not one who "needs" a man and my desire for my grandgirls is that they know their own value and worth in and of themselves.  "No man can tell me what to do," she responded.  "Only God can do that, and no man is God."  

The conversation exploded at that point on a personal level as we talked for probably 15 minutes--girl talk with a spiritual undertone.

Thirty or so years ago a long-time friend, a young man then in his twenties, appeared on my doorstep.  "I have been told you have something to tell me," was the gist of his greeting.  We sat down as I felt the weight of a heavy pronouncement placed upon me.  

As we talked, I introduced him to the person of God, not the concept or the idea of, but Him. He is a person, He is that real.  And in that person chance, karma, luck, fortune have no part or place.  

I have no idea if my friend remembers that conversation or not.  I do.

As my exchange with Jaylynn came to an end, I shared the address for this blog and told her to use the phone number on the business record to call me if she ever needed to or wanted to just talk.  Why did I do that?  It has been my experience that, when people open up to me, when they share their lives, I respond in a like manner, making myself available to them.

"Chance" is a fallacy; it is a lie.  Nothing in this world, in this universe is random; it is ordered, and there is One who brings order to it.  Even in this time of chaos, He is in charge.

There was a time when I was questioning what to do, when, where, and how.  A still, small voice spoke, "All I have asked you to do is to live your life."  I'm saving $20 a month for TV, and I had a meaningful experience in the process.  And that is why I love my life.