"On Being Grounded"

grounded:  adj.  confined to stay inside, typically by a parent, as a punishment; in aviation, not allowed to fly.

grounded:  adj.  well balanced and sensible.

discipline:  v.  train (someone) to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience.

The almost-13-year-old had been given a decision to make.  She was to choose between missing out on the birthday party of a friend at an ice skating rink, an event she had been looking forward to for days, or she was to relinquish her cell phone for 30 days. For 30 whole days she was to be "grounded," forbidden use of the instrument which is a social connection, a life-line for a pre-teen.

Her parents were not being cruel nor were they being abusive.  Being honest and forthright is the standard of this family's household, and when that standard wasn't met there were consequences. 

For many generations, corporal punishment was the typical form of discipline for children. A parent or an authority figure, perhaps a teacher or coach, deliberately caused physical pain or discomfort to a minor child in response to undesired behavior by the child.  This was done by spanking or slapping the child with an open hand or an implement such as a paddle. The premise of it was that the fear of the punishment would be a deterrent from any future miscreant conduct.   

In my own life, my mother had a wooden stick used for stirring paint as her paddling stick. When she could no longer deal with me, I was taken to the wood shed by Dad.  The size of his hand seemed enormous as he paddled me.  While I'm certain there was pain involved, I don't remember ever feeling that I did not deserve the punishment I received.  I always knew my actions warranted that response from my parents, and highly suspect it was my sassy "mouth," the need to have the last word, that pushed them over.  

Children enter a family and a home without experience.  It is the role of the parents to nurture, guide, to train and to teach them the values and principles which will be their moral and spiritual foundation as they live the rest of their lives.   In the home they learn, both from example and daily experiences, how to interact with others, behavior which is acceptable or unacceptable, and what it means to be disciplined.  It is not for the parent to be the one who controls, but to use every day incidents to encourage development and the growth of self-control.    

In recent years "grounding," the restriction placed on a child from an activity or favorite object, has become a preferred technique used in discipline and training, rather than that of exacting both physical and emotional pain. 

There is a clear correlation between that of earthly parents and the Heavenly One in methods of discipline and training.

God is omnipotent, all powerful, and there is a widespread perception, a false one, that He is cruel and mean, that He is controlling, and is the picture of One who abuses power.  In truth He is none of those things but, rather, the epitome' of loving parent. 

He is the innovator of instruction, of utilizing every day life to teach a better way to live that life. At times the experiences become quite difficult and harsh, but that is only because of our stubbornness and refusal to work with Him, to allow Him into our lives.  Wake-up calls are often ignored, and He is given no other option than to apply more pressure.  "If there was any other way....."  "Eternity is a long, long time."

To be grounded in aviation means a pilot is not allowed to fly.  That same term applied by God simply means my "wings" are clipped, and I have been placed in a set of circumstances not of my choosing.  Life as I had planned it has been altered.  The experience can be as mundane as weather conditions affecting a train trip, causing a delay, or as dramatic as retirement plans being altered due to an illness, a stock market crash, a natural disaster.

As a young woman, I had life as a mother all set.  I knew how many children I was going to have and had determined I would decide when I was going to have them.  Nothing went as I had anticipated.  One of my early experiences at being "grounded," I eventually realized I quite simply had not been allowed to have my own way.  And that is the point and purpose of discipline at the hand of God.  His way is a better way.

I questioned my grandgirl about her "grounding" experience, asking her if she felt the punishment was effective and what she learned from it.  "I have never lied since," she said, "which, that was like 2 months ago.  I do feel that taught me something.  Taught me a lesson to never lie, always tell the truth.....because (lying) can get you in trouble, can hurt someone's feelings." 

The terms discipline and punishment have such negative undercurrents attached to them in today's society that there is a reluctance to apply them.  However, when they come from a base of love and wisdom they are necessary and valuable.

In being "grounded," at His hand, one becomes grounded.  And you may quote me on that.    



"It is never fun to be corrected.  In fact, at the time it is always painful.  But if we learn to obey by being corrected, we will do right and live at peace."