"On Change"

Part of the fence between the two backyards had been removed to create an opening, a pass-through from the neighbor's yard into mine.  It was a short trek from back door to back door for the grandgirls, myself, my daughter and son-in-law.  The routine was the sound of a knock on the back door and, as I peeked through the window, I would find two little girls standing on the steps, waiting to come in.  This was a welcome part of my life for several years, one that brought me great joy.

My son-in-law boarded up the opening when the family moved into a larger home.  I had no idea what a change that would be.  That one simple change was the statement of a much larger whole.  I cannot tell you how many times I headed next door only to run into that boarded-up fence.  Neither can I express the emotions that were stirred up every time I did.

The definition of change is the process of becoming something different.  In my thinking, the opposite of change is stagnation.  The first has to do with life and living; the second has to do with death and dying.

Mother's Day 2014 brought with it the gift of a new I-phone from my children.  Talk about a change!  It was meant to replace my contractor's cell phone, one which was functional, serviceable, and withstood countless trips to the pavement.  The sparkly grandgirl went so far as to make fun of it whenever she saw me use it.  She seemed amazed that it even worked.  A friend had been after me for several months to replace my dinosaur of a phone with a "new and improved" one.  "You'll love it," I was told. 

The old was replaced with the new, and I have been thinking about "change" ever since.  My initial reaction was to revert back to what I knew, what I found comfortable, what worked for me.  However, since the old phone was rendered inactive that was not possible.  Change is a process, and it does take time to adjust. 

The type of change I found myself thinking about is the kind that takes place within.  I am one who begs my Heavenly Father for personal change. I am of the belief that a work from the inside-out is far preferable to one from the outside-in.  I do love that kind of change, the kind where you find yourself with nary a ruffled feather when, in times past, temper and anger would have flared; where impatience and intolerance are replaced with patience, tolerance, and understanding; the kind where you find yourself listening, really listening, instead of needing to dominate, needing to be heard; the kind of change where you have an inner peace instead of mental turmoil. 

This kind of change is priceless and is a gift.  It doesn't necessarily come easily and often it comes at a cost, that of giving up self and one's own way.  But, for me, change is evidence of life, continuing development, ever moving forward and becoming more than I had ever hoped to be.  I do want to come to the end of my life being able to say that I am not the same person I used to be, that I have been changed.

The new neighbor and the fence without an opening is part of my everyday life now.  I'm getting used to my new phone and, yes, I do like it.  In fact, my daughter told me how to turn the ringer on today.  Change is a fact of life whether we like those changes or not.  The one I still haven't got used to is the reflection I see of myself when I look in the mirror.  Just when did that happen, where was I, and what was I doing?