"On Being in a Superball State"

To say I have been in a zen-like place, calm, tranquil, and at peace with myself and my life recently would be an utter fallacy; in fact, it would be a bald-faced lie.  A better description is that of being in a “superball state.”  You know superballs--those small, bouncy balls.  They don’t just bounce, they ricochet each and every time they make contact with a surface until they are spent and come to a stand-still.  And no one can predict where they are going to end up. 

The blackberry vines on the bank had been waiting for me for several weeks.  The task of their removal had been postponed after encountering a wasps' nest in their midst.  Fear runs deep--even though my client had eradicated the nest.  However, decent weather is coming to an end, and I had run out of reasons, or rather, excuses.  It was time to tackle them.

 

There is no shortcut, no easy way.  It means plowing through the knee-deep ivy they are entangled in and cutting back the rampant, expansive vines at their base one at a time, dragging them down the hill to a location where they can then be hauled off.  The job was a perfect one for forcing me to stop and think, to question myself.

This is not the first time I’ve been in a “superball state.”  I have a history of spiritually packing up my bags and heading off on my own when I am confronted with a reality, a truth I don’t particularly want to face or agree with.  In years past this would last for several months before running out of steam and landing back on the very thing I had tried to avoid.

I have got better over time in dealing with issues head-on, yet here it was once again, that erratic state of mind.  One of the things I have learned is there are no skipped steps, no playing leap frog.  My life is set out in order, each step is crucial and important, and there is no moving forward until I deal with whatever it is I am trying to run from.

I recognized that state, the antithesis of peace, and so I began questioning what was going on, really taking place within.  As I cut back the vines, the mental garbage began to slough off, bit by bit, a housecleaning of sorts, and I ended up at the place where I had tried to bail, ground zero as it were. 

Quietly, I was reminded that a couple of weeks earlier I had been asked to “Just have patience” in dealing with a situation in my life.  I remembered my response to that had been, “Yeah, uh huh, sure.  Got it."  That was right before I took off.  And so I had ended up in this place of being scattered rather than grounded and focused, all because it wasn't what I wanted to hear.

I am fortunate to have One who doesn’t allow me my own way; who guides me with a certain, sure hand; who is adept at clearing clutter and junk out of the way; and One who cares enough He doesn’t let me end up in situations I would regret.

What a deal!  The blackberry vines were cleared off the bank, enabling me to cross a job off my "to-do" list.  I received priceless, personal counseling, and I am once again back on track, moving forward instead of bouncing all over like a superball.  Now I only need to remove all the stickers from my fingers. 



"I am leaving you with a gift--peace of mind and heart.  And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give.  So don't be troubled or afraid."

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."