"On Turning 70"

It happened once again; in fact, it happens almost every time I watch television in the evening.  I fell asleep.  I roused, realizing the need to head for bed and, as I did so, began unfurling my body.  Standing up and attempting to straighten, I thought, “Man, I really am acting like a 70-year-old.”

This landmark of a birthday is just around the corner for me.  I’ve been spending the past several months declaring “I’m almost 70.”  I do that every year, an acceptance of the approaching birthday.  By saying it aloud, there are no surprises, and, most certainly, no denial.  When it arrives, I simply step into it, a classification prepared and awaiting.  This year's exception, that of being 70. 

I know full well that age is just a number, so I have no problem with turning 70, and I am not fearful of death.  Several friends have preceded me in this turn of events, and I have supported them all.  I am discovering, however, that it is a different story when it is happening to me.

My mind is in a completely different place than it has been with any other birthday, and I find that to be a place of wondering,  with both conscious and unconscious considerations.   My thought as I crawled off the couch bears that out.

My father lived into his mid-80’s.  For what seemed like years prior to his death, I remember statements like, “This will be the last car I’m going to buy.  It’s going to last me until I die.”  And it did.  Those comments made me daft.  And yet, at almost-70, I find myself in that same line of thinking.  It isn’t something I am choosing, but the thoughts do come. Viewing life through the lens that carries with it the reality of the possibility of being "last" is a  new experience .

I find myself wondering how many more years are left for me on this earth, how many more years I will share in the lives of my grandgirls, what awaits me health-wise.  With no sense of being morbid, I wonder what is going to happen to me in these last years of physical life.  Oh, the thoughts that are stirred when one turns 70.

The older I have become, the fuller my life.  I discuss often with my Heavenly Father the fact that I want to continue learning, growing, becoming--I don’t want that to ever end.  I know I don’t have the truth of what my next life will be like, so I can only view it from this very limited perspective.

This much I know:  Life is life.  I will continue living it each and every step of the way.  And when that landmark birthday arrives, I shall treat it as a Rolodex file, one day flipping over into another and then another.  Life is good, and any way I look at it, the best IS yet to come.