"On Barry: Dignity and Grace in Hardship"

While mowing yesterday, the wheel fell off my lawnmower, and I found myself heading for the equipment place I frequent. My hope was to have the mower back in working order as quickly as possible in order to keep up with the jungle-like growth habit of lawns so prevalent in early Spring.  I’m on a first-name basis with my equipment people.  You can draw your own conclusions, and they would be accurate.

That is where I met Barry.  And that is where I was given a lesson in dignity and grace in hardship.

dignity:  a quality or state worthy of esteem and respect
grace:  a pleasing or attractive quality

I pulled into the parking lot and went inside with the wheel.  Within minutes I was returning to the truck where the mower was, along with a mechanic and his tools, a replacement wheel in hand. I noticed a van had pulled up alongside.  A gentleman had got out and, using a cane, was heading toward the back to unload a wheeled apparatus with which to navigate.  Each and every step was noticeably arduous and challenging.  The mechanic offered help in retrieving the walker, and it was graciously accepted.

The repair work was quickly completed in the parking lot, an "Urgent Care" visit of sorts and, as I went in to pay, I noted the gentleman had finished his business and was heading toward the door.  People deal with hardship in a variety of ways.  Some wear the mantle of their lot in life with flashing neon lights for all to see, drawing attention and evoking pity and sympathy.  Not so here.  It was evident there was no self-pity, no anger, no bitterness.  He plodded along, carefully calculating each step and the placement of his feet, a smile on his face as he chatted.  He said he was heading to Wal-Mart next.  I found myself admiring his resolve, as I am not a Wal-Mart shopper under the best of circumstances.

There is a fine line in offering help to people, regardless of the situation.  It needs to be real, genuine, honest, and natural rather than condescending and gratuitous.  When I asked if I could open the door for him, he smiled  and thanked me.  It’s a heavy door which needs to be pulled to open, and it seemed an obvious offer.   

As he got to his van and the walker was placed in the back, we exchanged names.  He shared that he had been frequenting this place of business since his son was a young boy and came in to buy parts for his go-cart.  “And he’s 40 years old now.”  I agreed with him--the owners are good people.

Barry—such a gentleman.  I have no idea what he is dealing with, but his attitude and demeanor made an impression on me.  What awaits me in the days to come is an unknown, but I hope I have the same dignity and grace as Barry if I am placed in a difficult set of circumstances.  He certainly presented a worthy example--and I doubt he's even aware.