"An Oxymoron"

oxymoron:  a contradiction in terms.

It is the nature of man to want to fix things, including himself.  Self-help, how-to books abound.   

“Always, ever—growing, changing.”  This was the thought as I headed out to begin my workday. 

Not all aspire to--or desire--change within themselves.  I’m not quite sure why that is.  Perhaps it is the “old shoe” or “old sweater” syndrome.  Living in the status quo can become very, very comfortable.  It is also very stagnant, dull, and boring.  Where there is life within, there is change; change is the evidence of life. 

How can it be that I have changed so, but I am the same?  That was the question under consideration as I plodded through weeds.  And then, I saw the truth of that.

Three years ago, I purchased a lovely birch tree with maroon-colored leaves.  It complements several other shrubs in my front yard, and I am able to see it from where I sit at my computer.  It was quite small when I got it, but it has grown to at least triple its original size.  That tree has changed dramatically, but it hasn’t changed at all.  The essence of it, the fact that it is a birch tree, is still there.  Its growth bears out that it is alive and thriving, visible for all to see. 

And so it is with me. In reality, my life has been a journey, one in which I have only begun to discover who I am.  I am not the same person I used to be; and yet I am.

I am still the little girl who loves Dairy Queen ice cream, who laughs too loudly and finds the volume of my voice increases when I am excited; one who loves creating things with my hands, who loves sunsets and the smell of babies.  I am that person who is competitive; one who delights in helping grandchildren learn.

As I live my life, the change is dramatic.  I am far removed from the person I used to be. Patience, where once I was impatient; flexibility replacing rigidity; being slow to anger where once there was a "short fuse."  I have learned to listen, to talk less,  to laugh at myself rather than at others, and to restrain from judging others. 

True change happens only at the Hand of our Creator.  I am grateful.