On Being Grounded

grounded: adj. Confined to stay inside, typically by a parent, as a punishment; in aviation, not allowed to fly. Well-balanced and sensible.

discipline: v. Train (someone) to obey rules or a code of behavior,; using punishment to correct disobedience. 

 

Mom and Dad delivered the verdict to the almost-thirteen-year-old— “You're grounded!” As her punishment, she had to choose between missing out on a friend’s birthday party or relinquishing her cell phone for thirty days. She, along with her group of friends, had anticipated the ice-skating party for days. However, the prospect of giving up her phone, the social connection and lifeline for a pre-teen, for thirty WHOLE days felt daunting.

Her parents were not cruel nor abusive. They set a standard of honesty and forthrightness in their household, and when she didn’t meet that standard, consequences followed.

For many generations, a common form of discipline for children consisted largely of corporal punishment. A parent or an authority figure, perhaps even a teacher or coach, often caused physical pain or discomfort to a minor child when he/she displayed undesirable behavior. They struck the child on his/her bottom with an open hand or implement such as a paddle, deemed “the board of education” in some homes. Fear of the punishment, which would hopefully deter any future miscreant conduct, served as the base premise for this approach.

In my own life, Mom had a wooden paint-stirring stick as her paddle. When I pushed her beyond frustration, Dad took over when he got home from work. I imagine the final straw occurred when I ran from her to avoid being spanked, putting my hands behind my back to protect my behind.

Dad took me to the woodshed—literally—where he paddled me with his bare hand. The size of his hand seemed enormous. While I have no doubt this involved pain, I don’t remember ever feeling I did not deserve the punishment. I always knew my actions warranted a response from my parents. I highly suspect my sassy mouth and need to have the last word brought the discipline.

Children enter a family and home with a blank slate. The parent’s role is to nurture and guide, to train and teach the values and principles that will serve as a moral compass and spiritual foundation for them throughout their lives.

In the home they learn, both from example and daily experience, how to interact with others. In that safe space, they are taught the difference between acceptable behavior--and unacceptable. They also learn the importance and meaning of discipline. Parents should mentor, not control. Everyday incidents provide teaching tools to encourage development, maturity, and the growth of self-control.

The form of punishment for children has undergone a transition over the past several years. Grounding, the restriction placed on a child from an activity or favorite object, has become a preferred method used in discipline and training, instead of exacting both physical and emotional pain by means of a spanking, for example.

God represents the epitome of a loving parent. A clear correlation can be drawn between that of earthly parents and our Heavenly Father. 

The innovator and master of instruction, He utilizes everyday life to teach us a better way to live. At times the experiences become quite difficult and harsh, but only because of our bullheadedness and refusal to work with Him and allow Him into our lives. We often ignore wake-up calls and leave Him no other option than to apply more pressure.

God operates in the long-term, not short-term. He wants only the best for us and does not choose a crunch situation as His first option. However, if stubbornness rears its head, we leave Him with no alternative. His tough love comes from the base: “If there was any other way . . . Eternity is a long, long time.”

In aviation a grounded pilot is not allowed to fly. That same term applied by God simply means I have “clipped wings;” He places me in a set of circumstances I have not chosen—nor one I particularly like. That process reshapes the life I had planned. The experience can manifest as mundane as weather conditions delaying a trip or as dramatic as retirement plans being altered because of an illness, a stock market shift creating financial losses, or a natural disaster.

As a young woman, I had life as a mother all planned. I decided my family would be complete with two children, and I would determine when that would happen. Nothing went as I intended. God introduced Himself to me in one of my early adulthood experiences by grounding me when infertility ruled my life. Eventually, I realized He simply did not allow me to have my way. In His way and in His time, I was given four children—blessings from God. And that sums up the point and purpose of discipline at the hand of God. His way is a better way.

I questioned my grandgirl about her experience. I asked if she felt the punishment was effective and what she learned from it. “I have never lied since,” she said. “I do feel that it taught me something. (It) taught me a lesson to never lie, always tell the truth . . . because (lying) can get you in trouble, can hurt someone’s feelings.”

Mom and Dad’s grounding appears to have made its point; the thirty days my grandgirl had no phone was a constant reminder of her unacceptable behavior.

The terms discipline and punishment have such negative undercurrents attached to them in today’s society that those in charge have a reluctance to apply them. However, when they come from a base of love and wisdom, nothing can replace their value or necessity.

If you discover you are grounded, remember this: grounding at His hand results in one becoming grounded. Everything in life has a point and purpose—even discipline. And you may quote me on that.

 

It is never fun to be corrected. In fact, at the time, it is always painful.

But if we learn to obey by being corrected, we will do right and live at peace.

Hebrews 12:11 cev