"On Choices"

Time spent in my own garden is rare.  As a self-employed gardener, my clients’ gardens and their needs are always placed before my own.  At this time of the year the to-do list for them is staggering.  I put blinders on my eyes as I pull into my driveway.  It is that bad.    

I’m not sure how it happened that I arrived home at a decent hour today, but I did.  There was still plenty of daylight left and, after feeding myself, I had the energy to head outdoors.

The decision was made to work in the part of my backyard most visible from inside.  The weeds are thick so it was hands-and-knees kind of work, the kind that frees one’s mind for thought.

Recently I read a meme with the quote, “It costs $0.00 to be decent.”  While a true statement, it costs the same amount to be a jerk.  The difference between the two is the result of a choice made.

choice:  an option; a decision; an opportunity to choose or select something  

Choice is a part of everyday living—What am I going to eat; how do I dress; where do I go; what do I do; how do I get there and when?  As you consider it, choice is presented in a non-stop manner in daily life. 

In addition, society has made it a priority to make certain each and every person is satisfied, young and old alike. The list of choices seems endless when purchasing a car, carpeting, furniture, an appliance for the home, planning a vacation.  Mankind's narcissistic appetite for self-satisfaction seems to be driving this state.

There is a prevalent approach in dealing with children, allowing them to choose their food, their clothing, the activities of their lives.  Treating children as people is a positive; however,  I wonder if it doesn't become a bit overwhelming for a kid.  I know it can be for an adult.    

Consider, however, the choices made as to how one lives his/her life, not just the decisions affecting the physical, outer aspect of it.

As I dug through the weeds, I found myself thinking about how we choose the kind of people we want to be throughout our lives, beginning at an early age.  Sometimes they are conscious decisions, other times unconscious.  They often are a result of a personal experience in our lives, a choice made which places us on a path other than the one we had been on.

When I was a young girl, my older brother brought a typewriter into our home to work on a school project.  I vividly remember it sitting on the card table in the middle of the living room with instructions to not touch it.  It was the first time I had seen such a machine at close range, and my curiosity took over.  I couldn’t resist messing with it.  When questioned, I denied my actions.  The lie felt worse than the disobedience, and the seed of truth and honesty was planted within and began to grow.

Children can be cruel, ridiculing and making fun of one another.  For the child on the receiving end of such treatment, a choice is often made—to never treat others in that same manner or to “get ‘em before they get you.”  I know one young woman whose mantra is “Do unto others as you’d have others do unto you,” the result of being treated badly not only by peers but an adult teacher as well.  Besides being the foundation of how she lives her life, it is what she teaches her children as well.  It is a choice she made. 

I choose if I am going to be kind or unkind; forgiving instead of bitter, spiteful, vindictive; loving and compassionate rather than hateful and distant or antagonistic; cooperative and humble instead of proud and boastful; generous rather than selfish and self-serving; decent rather than a jerk.  I could go on and on.  How I live my life, the kind of person I choose to be is in my lap, in my mirror.  That never falls on another person’s doorstep.

Free will and free choice is a provision given to man by his Creator.  Use it carefully and wisely, not only in determining allegiance to Him—or not—but in living life.  Choices matter. 

"If you are not willing to serve Him, then choose today who you will serve.  As for me and my family, we will serve the Eternal."

    

  

"A Thought For The Day"

A news story was released about a company which is forbidding the use of the name Christ or Jesus on their gift cards.  Many of those who are of the Christian faith are in an uproar.  The whole scenario has been rolling around in my mind, and this is where I landed.:

God does not live by the rule or law of man; man does live by the rule and law of God.  

This fact is not contingent upon one's belief or disbelief of it.  As is so commonly expressed, "It is what it is."

He cannot be contained; He cannot be controlled; He cannot be disallowed or eliminated.  No rule or law of man touches Him; nor will it bring about His extinction. 

Is man able to contain the wind, the sea, the shifting of the plates of the earth?  Can man control the weather, the cycle of seasons, the stars and planets in the heavens?  Can he stop the rotation of the earth or the force of gravity?  And that is only creation, not the Creator Himself. 

There is a movement underway, visible in other parts of the world and spilling over to our homeland, to eliminate faith and those of faith.  The response and reaction is often near hysteria and panic, as many try to come up with a solution to counter these atrocities. But I would suggest taking a step back and giving it some thought--This is God who is being taken on.  Who has ever done that and come out the victor?

So let the world create their bans, pass their rules of forbidden words, and make as many laws as possible to eliminate God from existence.  I seriously doubt He feels threatened.  

All He has ever asked is that we stand--just stand.   

For those who would say, "Yes, but for any of this to apply one has to believe there is a God, and I don't," you are placing me in a position where I am forced to say it:  "The fool has said in his heart 'There is no God.'" 

And there you have it--my thought for the day.  Or make that thoughts. 

"On Barry: Dignity and Grace in Hardship"

While mowing yesterday, the wheel fell off my lawnmower, and I found myself heading for the equipment place I frequent. My hope was to have the mower back in working order as quickly as possible in order to keep up with the jungle-like growth habit of lawns so prevalent in early Spring.  I’m on a first-name basis with my equipment people.  You can draw your own conclusions, and they would be accurate.

That is where I met Barry.  And that is where I was given a lesson in dignity and grace in hardship.

dignity:  a quality or state worthy of esteem and respect
grace:  a pleasing or attractive quality

I pulled into the parking lot and went inside with the wheel.  Within minutes I was returning to the truck where the mower was, along with a mechanic and his tools, a replacement wheel in hand. I noticed a van had pulled up alongside.  A gentleman had got out and, using a cane, was heading toward the back to unload a wheeled apparatus with which to navigate.  Each and every step was noticeably arduous and challenging.  The mechanic offered help in retrieving the walker, and it was graciously accepted.

The repair work was quickly completed in the parking lot, an "Urgent Care" visit of sorts and, as I went in to pay, I noted the gentleman had finished his business and was heading toward the door.  People deal with hardship in a variety of ways.  Some wear the mantle of their lot in life with flashing neon lights for all to see, drawing attention and evoking pity and sympathy.  Not so here.  It was evident there was no self-pity, no anger, no bitterness.  He plodded along, carefully calculating each step and the placement of his feet, a smile on his face as he chatted.  He said he was heading to Wal-Mart next.  I found myself admiring his resolve, as I am not a Wal-Mart shopper under the best of circumstances.

There is a fine line in offering help to people, regardless of the situation.  It needs to be real, genuine, honest, and natural rather than condescending and gratuitous.  When I asked if I could open the door for him, he smiled  and thanked me.  It’s a heavy door which needs to be pulled to open, and it seemed an obvious offer.   

As he got to his van and the walker was placed in the back, we exchanged names.  He shared that he had been frequenting this place of business since his son was a young boy and came in to buy parts for his go-cart.  “And he’s 40 years old now.”  I agreed with him--the owners are good people.

Barry—such a gentleman.  I have no idea what he is dealing with, but his attitude and demeanor made an impression on me.  What awaits me in the days to come is an unknown, but I hope I have the same dignity and grace as Barry if I am placed in a difficult set of circumstances.  He certainly presented a worthy example--and I doubt he's even aware.

"On a Movie: The Life and Death of Christ"

Last evening, at the end of an Easter day, I watched a movie on the life and death of Christ.  It was a presentation of historical facts, based on the political and religious climate of the time--no Biblical reference, no sermon or message, no preaching.     

This was not a film I have been able to walk away from.  There is something to be said about the seeing of things and not just the hearing.  It's that "One picture is worth a thousand words" thing. 

There were times I had to pause it--the scenes were intense and emotional.  A great deal of it was observed with hands over eyes, peeking through fingers--that's how I've always viewed difficult movie or television scenes, although as a small child, it was with a blanket over my head, peering through a small hole.  It was a profound, moving experience to be given a small sense of how one man lived His life.

Hoping to snuff out the life of the yet unknown infant Messiah, the horror depicted was stark as King Herod's orders were carried out, and all little boys under the age of 3 were killed. The cries of mourning mothers and fathers affected must have been as a single voice broadcast throughout the land.  This, because Herod was afraid he was going to be replaced by a new king.  He had calculated the time of His birth, coinciding with the visit from the Three Magi, who had seen signs in the sky indicating the Messiah had arrived.  What he didn't realize was the young boy had been moved out of the country to safety and was untouched. 

The childhood upbringing of Christ was very ordinary, growing up in a family with siblings and all the experiences of a boy, son, brother.  The son of a carpenter, He lived His adult life as any other man. 

He was, however, on a path that was not of His choosing, and there was that step into the final phase of His life where He served, ministered, loved, healed, taught.  Crowds followed wherever He went, trying to touch a piece of His clothing, bringing loved ones to be healed or for deliverance from demons, listening as He spoke.

He challenged the religious norm of that time, making enemies in that camp as well and ended up being feared and hated by both the religious and the political for very different yet very real reasons.

And then He died.  He had been delivered to those who feared Him by one of His own, one who had walked with Him and knew Him--for 30 pieces of silver.  The "trial," which came from both the religious and the political at that time, brought with it the sentence of death. Those whom He came to minister to turned on Him; He was mocked and tortured.  He had to have been near death before He was ever crucified.  The portrayal of the sounds and cries of agony as His limbs were nailed to wood was gut-wrenching. 

He was just a man; there was nothing magical about Him.  How could one ordinary person be so extraordinary?  That is the profound simplicity and paradox of the life and death of Christ.  He was never "just" a man, and yet that is what He became--a man, clothed in the fullness of, and every aspect of, humanity.  

In living that life He lived it in relationship with the Father.  In living that life, Christ fulfilled the will of His Father, and in His resurrection, death was defeated.  

He lived and died--so that mankind might have the gift of life as well.      

  

"It's a Love/Hate Thing"

A morning ritual has developed.  One of the first things I do when I awaken is to check my cell phone to see if I received any text messages while I was sleeping.  With a cup of tea in hand, I then settle in my rocking chair with my I-pad to scroll through "New Stories" on Facebook, look at e-mails, and continue play in an online Scrabble game.  The ritual often includes going to this blog site and either writing a new post or editing current ones.  After a great deal of evaluation, I have made the assessment that I have a love/hate relationship with the electronic gadgets in my life. 

In the beginning of home computer use, I was wary of the internet.  My thought was that anything called the "web" couldn't be good.  It may have been a prophetic appraisal.

I took longer than most to purchase one of the updated, upgraded phones because I know myself and my propensity for addictive behavior.  In fact, I might still be content with my older, industrial-type phone were it not for a family member's move to another state and the promise to Face Time with them.   A Mother’s Day gift from the family, gift cards to my cell phone server, left me with no excuses for not actively being part of this electronic age.   

The I-pad, I-phone, and laptop computer I have are a double-edged sword.  Instant communication via e-mail or text, Facebook, Google search, MapQuest—There are pros and there are cons.

On the plus side is being able to share in the lives of my family--seeing an Idaho grandgirl in a volleyball game as it happens, another at a guitar lesson; a picture of another at a local swimming pool, the oldest grandgirl with her first car, and yet another with new glasses. These are all on the pro side of the column as are confirming schedules with my clients, googling "property associations" while helping the grandgirl with homework, searching out new recipes, knitting patterns and ideas, and having a personal navigator while driving.  

So many connections, reconnections, and contacts have been made as a result of these tools--family members, childhood friends and classmates, people on the other side of the world.  

The time factor is one I would place on the con side.  Moderation has never been my forte’, and I find myself spending far too much time being involved with a piece of electronic equipment, checking for messages, e-mails, and Facebook updates.  In addition, I am addicted to Words With Friends, an interactive Scrabble game.  How can one spend so much time searching for the perfect word with the maximum amount of points?  I don’t have an answer, but search I do.

Another negative is that when one speaks with a person one-on-one, humor, sarcasm, and anger are visible and felt.  Facial expressions and body language make that evident. Communicating and conveying thoughts and ideas via text or e-mail is far more difficult. Even with the emoticoms one's tone is not easily translatable.  A lot of time is spent explaining what I really mean. 

As I have mentally wrestled with this issue, I came to the conclusion that there is a fine line between being in control and being controlled.  A dear family member/friend, who is not on Facebook commented, “That is just one less thing I have to manage.”  A valid point I have considered myself.

 

I love it; I hate it.  As with so many things in life, I think it’s finding balance.  I’m still working on it. 

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to see if it’s my turn on Words With Friends.

   

"On Contrast and Compare"

contrast:  v.  To set in opposition in order to show the difference or differences between.
compare:  v.  To assess the similarities and differences between two or more things.

Hot and cold. Day and night. Light and dark. Rich and poor. Sickness and Health. To contrast and compare is part of everyday life, often without conscious thought or an awareness of doing it.

My appetite was gone. The thought of food had no appeal, not even that of bulk food bin #2001, a chocolate/nut mix favorite at the local grocer. I knew then I was physically ill and not just languishing in a mentally laggard state of slothfulness.  Sometimes my mind needs to get in gear before my body decides to go to work. I assumed that was the case.

For several days I had been pushing myself, dragging my heels.  The previous day I heard myself say repeatedly, “I don’t feel good.”  The loss of appetite was a clincher, proof positive it was physical, not mental. Feeling ill vs. feeling well. 

The concept of contrast and compare can be a valuable tool in life, one which provides a perspective and aids in bringing understanding to many experiences in life, often a before-and-after picture.

Deep depression was present and an on-going condition in my life for many years. I never cease to revel in the life I now live and know.  It is a picture of contrast and comparison. I feel I value and appreciate my current state more because of being trapped--and living in--the former one.

My heart goes out to those who struggle.  I would never have the same capacity for understanding or care had I not been in that place myself. I know and experienced the hell-hole depths of darkness and hopelessness of life.  At the same time, I carry a sense of hope and possibility for others.   

There are other areas in my life where I see contrast as well, an insight into changes in my inner, former states vs. the present. I have been given a clear mind, replacing mental chaos and a mind so filled with debris that thought processes were difficult. I can hear and sense my Creator. To think. To reason. Tears have been replaced with laughter. I no longer live under the bondage of obsessive, addictive behavior but in freedom. A grim outlook of absolute hopelessness and negativism has changed into a bright, positive outlook. A life of lies and darkness switched to living a life in truth and light.

Why do bad things happen to good people?”  I propose the substitution of the word “hard” for “bad.”  Life’s experiences may be hard, but that doesn’t make them bad. In fact, it’s the opposite.  They are invaluable in stretching us, developing maturity, and producing compassion and empathy, understanding for others.

Designed circumstances provide the opportunity to become the kind of person we were originally created to be. They change us. This, in contrast to remaining shallow, self-centered, narcissistic beings.   

What was is no more.  And this is what I want you to see--not only do the hard times bring about change both on the inner and the outer, they also create a point of reference.  In the contrast and comparison between what was and what is, we can always remember where we were, where we came from, and what a gift our present state is.  For me, that is the basis of ongoing gratitude to the One who brought me through, Who has given me the life I have.

"Weeping may linger for the night, but joy comes with the morning."  Psalm 30:5

                                     

  

 

     

 

"On 'People First'"

Dinner was the most basic fare, a dish which hearkens back decades, known in my family as “Grandma’s Macaroni and Tomatoes.”  I had purchased the necessary ingredients to prepare it the last time I shopped, although the peppers and kidney beans are my embellishments, not hers.  Her meal consisted of crisping bacon, sautéing onions in the grease, and adding dry macaroni and home canned tomatoes.  Often prepared for a family home from school for lunch, it was a filler dish readily made with ingredients on hand.

As I began preparing, chopping the vegetables and frying the bacon slices, my thoughts were on this woman who was a part of my life for over 30 years.

For her, meal preparation was done on a wood cook stove, even after electric ranges were available to the general population.  She worked in the kitchen alone, often cooking for an “army,” as it were—hungry adult men, their families, lots of children.  When holidays came she made certain a favorite pie had been made for each and every person at her table.  Pies lined every available counter space, memories in the making.  There was no cleanup help, no dishwasher; she was the sole "cook and bottle washer," as they say.

As one who had the most minimal of resources and provisions with which to work, she never turned anyone away from a meal.  If you were in her home at mealtime, you were fed and fed well--not lavishly, but no one ever had reason to leave the table hungry.

“People First.”  This precept, this admonition and adage, is one introduced to me many years ago by a lifelong friend, one that has been repeated and reinforced over and over again.  I’ve considered  writing on it for quite some time, but found it an elusive subject to express in words—until “Grandma’s Macaroni and Tomatoes.” 

sacrifice:  selfless, good deeds for others; surrender or giving up anything for the sake of something or someone else

“People First” and sacrifice go hand in hand.  One cannot and does not put others first without that thread of selflessness running through one's being.  It is an unconscious characteristic, the natural state of a person, one where no ulterior motives are involved or manifest, no thought of debt, being owed, or recompense. 

It is simply placing another’s needs or desires ahead of self;  it is giving time when that is asked, giving an ear to hear, to listen; it is being available, giving of oneself.  "People First" is literally placing another ahead of myself.

Another aspect of this pearl is that people are more important than any one, single material thing.  I could have virtually every object  money can buy but, without people in my life, I would be a shell of a person.  People are more important than power, prestige, social status, financial gain.  They are eternal.  That cannot be applied even to an antique, certainly not an expensive piece of jewelry or clothing, the best automobile or home money can buy. 

Small, young, teens, middle-age, the elderly—There is no age differentiation in this directive of "People First."  So when a little munchkin accidentally breaks a priceless treasure, the child is important, not the object.  When a drink is spilled inside a vehicle, which has the soul—the car or the one who did the spilling?  When an important conversation is taking place, my time is not mine, but belongs to the one needing to vent, to voice, to be heard.

Neither is "People First" limited to, nor defined by, only those who are family and friends. There is a world filled with people, people who simply need someone to notice, to care.

How to live one’s life is an important consideration.  Life can be lived well or.....not so well.  I have observed, witnessed, and experienced firsthand “People First” in action and feel it is an important foundational building block in life.  I honestly do not know if it is attainable for all, but its value and worth cannot be underestimated.

Grandma and her “Macaroni and Tomatoes” go hand in hand with “People First.”  I am an advocate for personal change and growth at the hand of my Creator.  This one is priceless.